Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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