strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
