Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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