why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
