we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
