Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
