youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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