Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am one with the molecules
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Please don't give away my fajitas
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
