i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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