i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
