I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
