Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
