Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
