if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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