he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
