I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You left your phone here
Wait...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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