Define "chronic" masturbator.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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