i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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