I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize