PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
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