My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
