Duck Duck Cougar?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
