you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
