I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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