My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We had sex on a dog bed..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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