You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
