I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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