Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
