i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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