thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
