nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
