I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
