i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
