sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
