so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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