If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize