wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
