I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize