I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize