Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize