I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
