I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
