So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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