How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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