have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize