Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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