did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
