Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
