Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize