I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
