McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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