Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Your penis caused this!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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