No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Operation Purity has been aborted
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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