Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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