We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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