Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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