so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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